


Prelude to Understanding

by Komatsu



Series: Motions of Time [4]
Category: Bravely Default: Flying Fairy
Genre: Eventual Romance, F/M, Romance, Self-Harm
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2014-10-31
Updated: 2016-10-08
Packaged: 2018-02-23 08:12:00
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 5
Words: 13,497
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/2540642
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Komatsu/pseuds/Komatsu
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>A Collection of various Ringabel/Edea Lee one-shots. Not particularly related (I will note if they are) but rather a collection of stories that have already been posted on other websites that are now being posted here.<br/><b>EVERY CHAPTER WILL CONTAIN SPOILERS</b> but so far does not have any explicit sexual content. Individual chapters will have warnings.</p><p>As they travel together, Edea and Ringabel find that they come to an understanding at odd moments. Over many worlds, even many lives.  Lovers, friends, whatever they are, they know that the other is there.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Misery Loves Company

**Author's Note:**

> While en-route to awaken a crystal, Ringabel falls ill with a cold. At his request, Edea stays to take care of him through the day, then the night.  
> Spoilers for events past chapter 4

With everything that's going on, the amount of stress and worry they're all under, it's only a matter of time before someone gets sick. They've gotten colds and allergies and even the stomach flu before, and have come to expect it.

This time, that someone is Ringabel. Usually robust and healthy, the man comes down with a cold after a surprise rainfall while shopping for supplies in Caldisla, followed by an all-nighter piloting Grandship halfway across the world to Eternia. It was a recipe for disaster, and really, they shouldn't have been very surprised when he faints suddenly as they prepare to disembark for Everlast Tower, snow drifting softly around them.

"Hey, Ringabel!" Tiz cries softly as they kneel beside the fallen man. His sickness is obvious; he's flushed and sweaty, and his chest labors for breath. Already they can hear him wheezing, sick building in his chest. "Ringabel?"

"He can't get sick now!" Airy says above them. "We have to awaken the crystal!"

"Shut it, Airy." Edea snaps, slipping one of her gloves off so she can feel his forehead. He's burning up, even with the snowflakes that build on his nose and eyelashes. "No one wants to get sick." She and Tiz exchange a glance.

"Well, if Agnès heals him, we can get on our way, can't we?" The fairy suggests. She's right; White Magic can technically be used to cure this kind of illness, but… it's a waste. Everyone gets sick, it's natural, there's no point in using magic magic for colds and papercuts.

Edea reminds her of that as she and Tiz carefully pick up Ringabel between them, Tiz with his arms under Ringabel's armpits, and Edea with hers around his knees. "Don't we want to preserve Agnès' energy? Ringabel just has to sleep this off." Especially considering that she doesn't think he slept the night before, having piloted instead. "He'll be fine in the morning."

Though Airy pouts, there's no point in pushing it further as the crew carefully transports Ringabel from the deck, back up the stairs, and into the inn. It's slow going, and as soon as the blond man has been hefted into bed, Edea collapses beside him.

"I think we've gotta put him on a diet."

Tiz wipes his forehead with the back of his head. "Stop feeding him your extra sweets and I'm sure he'll lose some weight." He sets to work on removing Ringabel's boots.

Agnès has already filled a basin with water and now places it on the nightstand. "I'm worried. He should have woken by now."

Edea shakes her head, but leans over to touch Ringabel's face. It's just as warm and clammy, and the snow has begun to melt now that he's out of the frigid air, droplets of water streaming down his face. "He's exhausted himself, likely. We'll have to keep him here until he's better."

The hardest part will be enduring his jokes about keeping him in bed, she's sure.

Agnès sets a cool washcloth over his forehead, and it's then that he stirs, grimacing and cracking one gray eye open to look at them. "Crystal?" He croaks.

That'd be kind of cute if his eye wasn't so bloodshot and his voice so hoarse. Edea frowns and smooths some of his hair back from his face. "Later. Go back to sleep."

The flush over his face deepens, and as expected, he tries to sit up. "No, no. I'm -" He only makes it halfway up when he sways suddenly and Edea shoves him back down. "I just need a nap," he insists weakly, smiling.

"Tiz?" Edea asks. The shepherd was now working on Ringabel's belt.

"Hold him down if you need to, Edea," Tiz replies as he finally slips the belt off of the other man's waist. He doesn't know how Ringabel could even * _wear_ * it, much less sleep in it. "I don't think we should leave until he's better, though."

"I agree," Agnès says, cutting off the whining Airy has been doing in the background. "I don't feel safe fighting that beast without everyone at their best. We can wait an extra day."

The extra day looks like it may turn into two when Ringabel comes down with a deep cough sometime before lunch. The chicken soup Edea force-feeds him seems to help, but not by much. and she sets the bowl down with a frown, watching the man huddle under his blankets.

"You've gotta get better," she tells him, and swaps out the cloth on his forehead for a fresher and cooler one.

"Will you stay and nurse me back to health?" He whines, punctuating his words with a cough. The look he gives her is so sad and pathetic, she feels like she's looking at a puppy. And would be kicking one if she tells him to shove it.

"I'll stay," she promises, and doesn't miss the way that his tired eyes light up. "But in exchange, you have to promise to do your best to get well as soon as possible."

"Promise," he says, with a weak smile, and sneezes.

For the first few hours, all is well. Edea pulls up a chair next to his bed and a stack of books she's been meaning to read for a while and entertains herself while he sleeps. The romance novels she'd dug out of Agnès' belongings aren't really her thing, but the covers had looked interesting, though she finds that she skims more than she actually reads, skipping to the good parts instead of the boring exposition.

Ringabel naps fitfully, tossing in his sleep and kicking his covers off with a whine.

"Too warm," he mutters as Edea tucks them back over him, rolling around. "Too warm."

"Deal with it," she replies, ruffling his hair. "Just go back to sleep."

An hour later he's whining again, complaining of cold, curling in on himself and shivering.

This time Edea hauls her blanket off her bed and tosses it over him, not bothering with the tucking this time. Ringabel worms one of his arms out from under the whole mess and drags the blanket close so he can wrap around it, burying his face into the folds. As soon as he seems to be peacefully asleep, she reaches over to drape it around his shoulders and torso. There.

Tiz and Agnès bring them dinner.

"How's he feeling?" Tiz asks in a low voice.

"Well, he doesn't seem to be getting worse," Edea replies, shoving her sandwich in her mouth. "But he's not really getting any better, either."

"The Proprietress found some cold medicine for us," Agnès offers, setting down the little packets and bottle on the nightstand.

"Thanks. I'll make him take it later when he wakes."

"You don't mind watching him?" The Vestal leans over Ringabel to measure his temperature, laying a cool hand on his forehead.

Edea makes sure that he doesn't stir before she answers. "It's fine. Someone has to keep an eye on him. I don't mind." Agnès had offered, but Airy had put up such a fuss that it just wasn't worth the trouble, and Tiz could use the time to catch up on other things. Besides, a part of her felt like she owed it to him - she could remember the last time she'd fallen ill back in Eternia Central Command, Alternis had stayed up with her throughout the night, carefully holding her hair back.

And the last time she'd fallen sick on Grandship, having eaten her own concoction when no one else would, it had been Ringabel who'd stayed with her, camped out in the bathroom with water and ginger and allowing her to curl up against his chest when she wasn't heaving. She owes it to him.

She  _owes_  it to him, she reminds herself a few hours later, once Ringabel wakes and his whining starts up again.

"I'm too warm already, Edea!" The man fusses, trying to shove the blankets back at her. He tries, but breaks down into a cough, and it's then that Edea practically pounces him, blankets in hand.

"Grr… just stay down. Behave!" Maybe he didn't like it, but Tiz said it was probably best not to let him lounge around without covers, not when his body was trying to fight whatever he'd caught. And considering that Ringabel had kicked off his shirt and pants the first time he'd woken, Edea didn't want to see him in just his drawers. He was so pasty and sweaty.

"I'm behaving," he manages to say once the cough has subsided, and he blinks wearily up at the woman straddling him. His face is very red. "Can I get some water?"

"Of course." She slides off him to fetch him a glass of water. And then the medicine when he asks for it. And then a book, because he isn't tired, but he aches and wants to rest. And then he says he's feeling a little hungry, so she gives him some crackers. And then he decides he needs to use the restroom, so she has to unpack him out of bed, and then tuck him back in. And then another glass of water. And then...

"Ringabel." Edea says, her voice a little annoyed even if her hand is gently stroking back his damp hair. He glances at her mid-drink of his water, eyes wide. "Go to sleep."

He smiles a bit weakly as he hands the glass of water back to her. "I will in a moment." A moment takes a while, as he once again decides that he isn't sleepy, and instead curls up on his side to watch her.

She goes back to her stack of books, but it's very hard to read knowing that she's being watched. The urge to look back at him every now and then eats at her, and after glancing out of the corner of her eye several times, she finally puts the book down.

"What is it now?"

"Thank you," he replies, as though he'd been mentally rehearsing. "For staying with me."

"Oh…" She hadn't been expecting that. "You're welcome. But stop staring, that's creepy."

Ringabel obediently rolls over onto his other side, and Edea watches him for a few moments. He coughs, fidgets, and then seems to fall asleep, his breathing shifting to deep and even, if not still a little ragged from the cough in his chest.

That's acceptable. Edea dims the lights so he can sleep better, concentrating a lamp on her book. This was just about killing her, being so quiet and still. He needed to get better fast.

She moves from her book to his, taking out his journal to re-read some of the passages and make notes in the margin, and is about halfway through when she hears her name.

"Wha-" She looks up and shuts up immediately. How she'd missed his tossing, she doesn't know, but Ringabel is clutching at his face and chest in his sleep, crying out her name again as she watches. Biting her lip, Edea sets aside book and pen and kneels on the bed, unsure as to whether or not she would wake him. His nightmares had been  _terrible_  before, but they had petered off as far as she was aware. Had he just been hiding them? She watches him thrash, and cry, choking on his breath as he calls for her before breaking into a hacking cough between his sobs.

"Stop," she whispers, touching his fevered forehead, unsure of what else to do. "I'm right here. Just wake up."

At her touch, or perhaps the sound of her voice, he snaps awake, chest heaving. They both go silent, and she chews on her bottom lip as she stares at him. His eyes are wide, staring up at the ceiling, as though he isn't quite seeing it. He's so very still.

"Ringabel?" She tries, hoping he's actually awake and not trapped in his nightmare. He doesn't react, and she tries again, louder this time. "Ringabel, hey. Hey!"

His eyes slide over to her, and … recognition kicks in as he awakens fully. "Edea?" His voice is hoarse from both the yelling and the cough, and he swallows hard, his hands automatically moving up to wipe his face of the tears. "I…"

He doesn't have to say anything, she thinks, and shakes her head. "You had a nightmare." He seems to accept that, though he continues to run his hands over his face, then his chest. She can see marks on his face where his nails had scratched his skin, and frowns, her hand stroking his forehead again, pushing his hair off it. "Try to go back to sleep. You need to rest."

"I don't really…"

"Yes. You have to. You have to get better." He has to get better so they can keep awakening crystals, keep going on this quest… so he can keep bugging her. Today's just been quiet, and it's weird.

Ringabel's eyes slip shut and he reaches up to touch her hand, tilting up into it for a moment. "Will you lay with me?" It's a testament to how tired he is, because he doesn't even blush when he asks.

She really should tell him no, because he's gross and sweaty and half-naked and sick besides, and possibly contagious. If she gets sick too, then Airy will just get even more annoyed at the delay. But she can tell the nightmare has unnerved him, and if she felt like being honest with herself, it's unnerved her as well. She knows by now what kind of nightmare he'd likely had, and while she's not really happy with the idea of being killed off in his dreams, that's not something he can really help, now is it?

"I… fine. But keep your hands to yourself or I'll smother you," she says, and moves off the bed so that she can change into her nightclothes.

"I wouldn't dream of it, my angel," he replies, and pulls the blankets over his head.

They're still there when she comes back a few moments later. "Oh come on, if you do that you're just going to smother * _yourself_.*"

He laughs, then coughs, and pulls the blankets down. "But I'm cold."

"I thought you were too warm," she reminds him, pulling the blankets back and sliding in next to him. … He was right, it was way too warm under the blankets, and she makes a face as she settles in next to him. He nervously draws his legs up, rolling over to face her, his arms wrapped around himself.

Ringabel's a lot bigger than her, but Edea easily curls up on her side facing him, her hands resting between them. He's… so sick, she notices. Pale and worn and just tired. Had it really been that all-nighter that had done him in, or was this something that's built up over the past while they've all ignored? Ringabel's pretty bad at looking after himself, too occupied with looking after the rest of them. That needs to change. He needs someone to look after him.

For a few moments they stare at each other, until Ringabel dissolves into a coughing fit into his hands.

"You should take some more medicine too," she reminds him, and rolls back over to fetch some and a glass of water. Though she has to be extremely careful not to spill any on herself as she passes it over to him, Ringabel obediently sits up and drinks both water and medicine down, grimacing at the taste.

"I'll be good," he says. "Just don't make me take any more of that."

"If you get better, you won't have to take it ever again," she replies, and carefully moves the nearly empty glass of water back to the nightstand. "Now get some rest."

He sighs.

"I'm not tired."

She rolls her eyes but says nothing. He  _always_  gets like this after a nightmare, and she shifts so that she can move closer to him, laying her head against his shoulder. Ringabel makes a distressed noise, but says nothing, and his arms wrap around her tightly, as though he wanted to clutch her all along. He's so silly, she thinks, as they rearrange their legs so they can just lay together. If he just needed a hug, he could ask for one.

"I'm tired," she tells him, and her fingers trace down his warm, flushed chest. "So I'm going to take a nap and you sleep, and I'll see you in the morning." When his hand reaches up to catch hers, she frowns, but says nothing, not even when he raises her hand up to kiss her fingers.

He really shouldn't be kissing anything when he's sick like this.

"Edea?" Ringabel asks a few moments later, just as her eyes had started to slip shut and she'd started to fall into a light doze. It was really very warm under the covers, especially against the heat of his skin, but she felt comfortable all the same. Nice and cozy.

"Mmm?"

"May I… er. May I listen to your heartbeat?" He asks in a rush.

"... Sure. Why not?" It was a strange request, but Ringabel was a strange man, and sick, besides. She could indulge him this once.

It's a little weird, because he's so much more bigger than she is, by at least a foot or more, but they wiggle and squirm around until he can rest his head against her chest. She tugs on his hair. "Any funny business and I'm throwing you out of the bed." And she quite literally will - if he doesn't think she can suplex him right out of the sheets, he's wrong.

"I wouldn't dream of it, my dear," he mumbles as he nestles in close, ear flat against the center of her chest. This makes his mouth uncomfortably close to … other parts of her, and Edea carefully rearranges his head with a hand until he's settled a little more appropriately. The heat of his cheeks can be felt through her nightshirt.

It's too warm, she thinks to herself as their legs tangle together, the two of them settling in for sleep. He owes me.

Like this, it's easy for Edea to gently run her fingers through his limp locks, humming slightly so that he can hear that along with the sound of her heartbeat. Slowly, she feels him relaxing, and his breathing evens out before long, though the cough continues to rumble through him. She can feel it, his chest pressed against her belly, his arms tucked carefully around her waist.

At some point, Edea must have drifted off as well, because she wakes in the morning with a cough.

Ringabel's still asleep, but wakes when her cough gets worse, the woman curling in on herself as she tries to clear her lungs. For a moment, he seems confused, then panics when he remembers the previous night and scrambles away, nearly falling out of the bed in his haste.

"I'm… sorry," he breathes, as he fetches her some of the medicine by the side of the bed. His color is much improved after a full night's sleep. "Here. I'll stay."

She swallows down the medicine - it really does taste terrible - and pulls him back into the bed, instead of letting him hover by the side of it. "Stay," she croaks. "You owe me." He'd gotten her sick!

Ringabel stutters as she carefully arranges herself over him, tucking her face into his shoulder. "A-as long as you need me, Edea. I'll stay."

That's fine, she thinks, head hazy with heat. She'll just take a nap and wake up good as new, right?

"Ringabel?" She asks after a few moments of fidgeting. Too warm, it's way too warm.

"Yes, dear."

"I think I'm going to throw up."

Perhaps he hadn't given her what he had after all, but it doesn't matter now. Edea stays the whole day in bed with him anyway, because his cough has yet to abate and her stomach aches something terrible. It's a little too warm, and very sweaty, but as miserable as they are, they could at least enjoy each other's company.

 


	2. Lion

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> With the memories of his past come the memories of his own pain. Ringabel has some difficulty adjusting. Edea does as well. Though they often lick each other, lions are strong.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Contains spoilers for Ringabel's past and EXPLICIT REFERENCES to self-harm.

He had thought himself above such things, but his memories are overwhelming. They make him sick, a disease spreading from the inside out that has no cure. He knows he's sick. Outwardly, he has enough experience with being Ringabel to smile and laugh with the others, but inwardly Alternis Dim wails and thrashes and  _hurts_.

Ringabel is still hesitant to done the black armor again, lest he forget himself completely, but he dabbles in some of the skills regardless, even if his primary skillset is currently the Vampire, a handy thing. Dark Bane leaves him exhausted, especially after repeat uses. They've beaten back a group of enemies, Ringabel throwing himself into a Rage, and the ache that rings through his bones feels as good as it does painful.

As soon as the last monster vanishes, he falls to his knees, his strength leaving him with the adrenaline.

"Ringabel!" Edea cries, kneeling beside him.

"I…" His head is swimming, and he bites down on his lip to try and refocus.

"You've overdone it," Edea scolds, her voice panicked. "Tiz? A little healing please?" Tiz trots over in the guise of the White Mage, his brow furrowed.

Ringabel shakes his head, pushing Edea back. "No… No, I'm fine." The woman flinches, either because his voice is rougher than usual in his exhaustion or because his touch is careless. "I just need a potion and I'll… be good to go." He smiles. It's forced.

He nearly stops smiling at the worried look on her face. "Don't be stupid." She warns, but hands him a potion out of the pouch on her hip anyway, and Tiz has already fired off a Curaga that dispatches some of the numbness in his limbs. "We need you," Edea says as she moves away to go stand closer to Agnes, the Vestal waiting patiently for them near Eternia's gates.

If only that were true.

Ringabel lasts til the night, when they've finally re-entered Grandship for a night's sleep. Normally, he would be thrilled at the prospect, but not tonight. He hasn't punished himself enough, he thinks, leaning over the worn wooden counter in one of the washrooms on Grandship, his top off and his hair wet. The mirror is tarnished and somewhat warped, but he can still see the multitude of ugly bruises across the skin of his torso, and presses his fingers into one, groaning lightly at the pain and the tenderness that shoots through him. Bruises were not an uncommon side-effect of the Dark Knight or its skills, nor of their countless battles. He'd grown used to them.

It's not an entirely bad feeling, though, and he sighs, stretching out. It makes him feel alive, and his fingers brush over another bruise, relishing in the feeling of pain almost as though it were pleasure. I'm so messed up, he thinks with a rueful smile.

There's a knocking at the door, and Ringabel immediately tenses, reaching for his shirt. "I'm in here," he says.

"I know," Edea's voice is heard through the wood. "I'm coming in."

Before he can shove his shirt back over his head and torso, the door opens and Edea does come in, clad in a modest nightgown, holding a small container of… something in her hands. Ringabel, feeling exposed, holds the shirt against his chest, knowing that he can't hide all the bruises covering his body, and he closes his eyes, afraid of how much she'll judge him. He turns away as well, just for good measure.

Edea sets down the container on the wood next to him, avoids looking at him. It hurts her to see him like this. Alternis hadn't shown his body to her in years, not since when they children, but she had seen on and off how exhausted he could get after using the asterisk's powers too much, falling asleep in the early evening at times in one of the sitting rooms instead of his own bedroom, but there had been just one incident before she remembers vividly. "I… brought something. For your hurt."

He swallows. "That isn't necessary." Edea had once seen his bare arms when they were much younger. It was summer and he had just woken up when there was an emergency with Mazher. He hadn't had  _time_  to think about being fully dressed. He'd spent the better part of the morning with his arms exposed before she'd quietly asked about the wounds and bruises that covered them. Braev had been there, and had quickly found a long-sleeved coat for the the younger man to wear, but once things had calmed down and they returned to Eternian Central Command, he'd sat Alternis down for a gentle discussion about the use of his asterisk. Years later, the Dark Knight still remembered the burn of humiliation he'd felt, and the anxiety thinking that he'd be thrown away for being so broken. Braev and Edea calmed those fears, gave him potions to help with the outer wounds, and promised to help him with the internal, until he stopped hurting. They tried, but he'd just gotten better at hiding them as the years went by.

"Ah… Ringabel…" She chews on her bottom lip. "Don't do this to yourself. You're better than this." At least he isn't cut up, she thinks, though her eyes wander to his bare, scarred shoulders.

This is not a conversation he wants to be having, and yet he turns to face her, finally setting his top back down on the counter. He feels horribly naked in front of her like this, though she's seen him (and Tiz) without their shirts on before. He opens his mouth to argue with her, that no, he isn't better than anything. That he deserves this pain and these wounds. They remind him of his failures and ensures he never forgets them. He wants to tell her that the pain is comforting as much as it is distressing, and he enjoys it, along with the darkness that his former Job brings with it. But he can't. He's too embarrassed, too upset… the words die in his throat, and instead he asks.

"Where did you get this anyway?" It's something he's used before. Potions are a handy thing, yes, but the taste leaves something to be desire and using them too often causes nausea. For minor wounds, a salve to numb the pain and promote healing worked just fine. Besides, knowing that they could magically make most wounds disappear in an instant could have a terrible affect on people's mental health in the long-run, as Ringabel could attest, and many people avoided potions if at all possible.

"I…" She hasn't expected him to ask apparently. "I bought some from Eternia the last we were there."

"Ah…" Yes, he recognizes the brand. A good one, though expensive. He picks up the container and carefully rotates it in his hands. It's too good for him to use, he thinks, but she seems to be expecting him to open it. At least, that's the only reason he can think of why she'd still be in the bathroom with him. It's too small. They're too close. He might normally enjoy such closeness with Edea, but right now it's… it's suffocating.

He swallows.

"Edea, please." He all but begs. "I'll be fine." He tries to shove the container back at her, but she won't take it, crossing her arms. Her hair, wet from her earlier bath, clings to her red face.

"I won't let you do this to yourself!" She argues, stamping her feet.

A pit grows in his stomach. Anger and despair build up in his chest. He'd hidden the dark parts of him for so long that he can't bear to expose them to her radiance. He can't. He can't let her see, he can't face them himself. He…

"Please." He says, and his eyes burn. His shoulders are tight, his chest aches, his head feels like it's going to split open, and his arms tremble. With suppressed rage or tension, he doesn't know.

Edea, beautiful, kind, foolish Edea, stands her ground. "I'm not leaving." And with her in the way, he can hardly shove her aside to reach the door, she knows. Edea is firm on this; she'd failed to save Alternis. She has to save Ringabel.

Something inside of him bends under the pressure and snaps and his vision sways at the same time the fog in his head clears. Ringabel sags against her, leaning his head against her shoulder. "Please…" he gasps. "I can't. You don't need to see this."

"I already have," she reminds him, and her hands wrap gently around his wrists. "You're my friend…. and if the others knew, they wouldn't let you do this either."

He sniffles, feeling like a child who's been caught doing something naughty. In a way, perhaps he is; his... habits had started as a way for a child to understand why his mother had abandoned him, why the city treated him so badly. They'd continued as an adult, fueling his rage and his power that he needed to be a good Dark Knight. Murmuring quietly, he leans against her, feeling exhausted and so exposed. His skin and soul feel raw, but his head is clearer than it has felt in months.

"Edea…" How to explain. "I'll be fine. Even if I… do this, I'll be fine."

"But it's not fine. It's not okay." Her fingers trace scars across his inner wrists. He'd dabbled in that for some time before moving to places less visible, he remembers. After the incident with his bare arms, Braev had been careful to watch him, and had set Master Kamiizumi and Sir Heinkel to keep an eye on him too. He'd been so angry and embarrassed at the time, though that had eventually faded to gratefulness that the men cared about him so much.

"It will be," He promises. Sighing softly, feeling the same mixture of embarrassment and gratefulness now, he finally pulls away from her. "I'm still not using it."

"Ringabel!" She frowns. He smiles and it feels more natural than it has in days.

"It's yours, Edea. You didn't buy it for me." Though what she did buy it for, he doesn't know. He pauses a moment before trying to hand it back to her. "Here."

Edea's flusters, and her hands tuck behind her back. "No, I mean it when I say you can use it!"

"I'm a big boy, I can heal myself." Either naturally with time, or with a Cura or potion… there's really no reason for him to use this, expensive as it is. He'll take the healing naturally route, enjoy the pain while he has it, and try to be a little more careful in the future.

But Edea is stubborn and mule-headed sometimes. As much as he loves her, it's times like this that test his patience. "Just... try a little of it."

"Why?" She's being awfully pushy.

"I'll just feel better if you do." She replies, and just like that, he folds. Alas, his weakness; Edea's happiness.

"You just want to see me naked," he teases, as he turns away from her and back toward the mirror. In the warped reflection he can see her frown sharply, and his smile toward her is sincere as he tries to find the ugliest of the bruises on his skin.

"Don't even start - you know that's not true." She argues. Yes, he knows. While their relationship is much improved over their first meeting, because both of them have mellowed out and somehow met near the middle, she still hates it when it says things like that. It's something he's trying to work on, tiny little voices in his head admonishing him for his behavior.

"Yes, my dear. I know. And if I don't behave, you'll add another bruise to the list. " He says absently as he finds a nasty looking thing on his side that's been making it harder for him to move the past few days. He'll get rid of that one, he decides, and unscrews the top of the metal container.

It's been used before, he notices, which shouldn't surprise him. Using potions and Cure's for every scrape and bruise is stupid, and Edea's a physical fighter; she throws herself into the thick of things more often than not. But something, instinct perhaps, gives him pause and he turns to her.

"If you're using this, I don't want to use too much."

Her brow furrows, she shakes her head. "No, it's fine. I have more." But she's suddenly unable to look at him, her eyes flicking away to the side.

"Edea."

Ringabel has known Edea for years. This Edea and the woman who died in his arms. He knows her tells, when she's feeling guilty, hiding a secret, and… when she knows the other person knows she's hiding something. The pit that had been in his stomach forms again, this time a sharp pain. Setting the open container back down, he instead uses his greater height and an intimidation tactic he normally  _loathes_ , tugging Edea against the wall and trapping her against it, his arms on either side of her head.

"What are you hiding from me?" He asks, his voice low.

Edea's eyes are wide, almost shocked for a moment, before they narrow and she shoves at his chest. Her fist hits a bruise and he hisses with pain but doesn't budge. They're in a fight of endurance now, and Alternis has so much more experience.

"It's nothing," she grits out. Even if she's physically stronger than him, Ringabel - Alternis - can be stubborn and unmoving like a mountain when he wants to be. She contemplates bodily shoving him, or trying to slip under his arms and out the door when he  _growls_.

"Edea. You are acting oddly." The voice sends chills up her spine. It's as if a ghost has come back from the past, but instead of frightening her, she just gets more angry. Ghosts shouldn't exist, in her opinion! "Tell me the truth!" The man demands and she monetarily forgets who she's dealing with.

"Alternis!" She shouts, and knows,  _knows_  that isn't correct. When he doesn't react, she pulls her fist back to punch him in his stupid face. It's so serious and grim, as though he's forgotten how to smile. Maybe he has, she thinks, because he's so caught up being depressed and hating himself, that he's forgotten what it was like to  _forget_.

Ringabel catches her fist before it connects and slams her arm up against the wood of the bathroom, over her head. A part of him feels deeply uncomfortable treating her like this, but Edea is a warrior whom he's fought beside for months and both Alternis and Ringabel have a respect for her strength, as much as they both tended to ignore it.

They're both panting hard, angry and upset and both hurting, and Edea's eyes are suddenly bright. Hating himself more than usual, Ringabel tries to force himself to calm down, breathing in deeply and reminding himself that he's no longer the man he used to be. Quite literally; just like Edea Lee, Alternis Dim died that day on Grandship. Calming himself just enough, his eyes flicker up to where his hand is tight around her wrist and… a part of  _Ringabel_  dies.

The long sleeve of her nightgown has slipped down, and he can see, quite clearly, a row of neat parallel cuts, thin and shallow, and all too familiar. Bruises litter the pale skin just underneath the hem, and though he hears Edea's protest in his ears, he grabs her arms and pulls it closer, yanking her sleeve up to bare her skin. The usually pale flesh is marred with marks. Those are not unusual, given their occupation and Edea's boisterousness, but they're far too uniform to be natural.

A whimper forces itself out of his throat. He's failed again. Edea is  _hurting_ , but he's never noticed, and he gives her a glance. Her eyes are wide, her face pale. When their eyes meet, there's a pain and fear there he hasn't seen in… ever. Guilt floods him, for various reasons, not least because he's forced her into revealing this. She knew about his pain because he'd shown it, but Edea was too strong to show her own.

"What… why are you doing this?" he asks her, his chest tight. He lets go of her wrist and she tugs the sleeve of her nightgown up over her wrist again, cradling it gently in her hand. He doesn't know what else to say.

"I could ask you the same," she points out, and he feels a pang in his chest because she's right; he's hardly the one to be lecturing her about her self-destructive behaviour. Still. Edea is important to him, and as a man formerly known as Alternis Dim, he feels that Braev would want him to look out for her. To keep her safe, even from herself. He swallows and forces himself to stay composed. It's difficult. He'd like nothing more than to cry right now, to weep openly at how his angel is broken and twisted, but that doesn't help her. It doesn't really help either of them.

"You don't need to… do this," Ringabel says weakly. It's a bad argument, considering that he's still half naked and still covered in his own self-inflicted bruises.

And Edea hates being told what to do. She bristles. "Don't need to do what? Don't need to watch as we're forced to kill former comrades again and again, knowing that we can't do anything but watch them fall? I don't need to mourn their deaths, wishing that I'd been able to convince them  _this_  time? Don't need to watch my family suffer?" Her bottom lip trembles, and her eyes close.

"Edea…"

"It's not that bad," she grumbles. "It's just every now and then."

"You shouldn't do it at all." Even to his own ears he knows how hypocritical he sounds, and merely flinches without sound when she pokes at a larger bruise on his stomach with two fingers.

"I'll take a potion," she promises, her voice quiet. She's gone back to being contemplative; he doesn't know how to feel about that. How long has she been doing this, he wonders, how long has she been punishing herself? She shouldn't be, she has no reason to be. She's done nothing wrong, in his opinion, and he'd rather that she punish him a thousand times over before turning a blade or fist on herself. Carefully, he takes her wrist back into his hand and though she resists for a moment, she allows him to pull her sleeve up so that he can examine her arm again.

"And you shouldn't abuse restorative items," he tells her with a gentle, controlled smile, and reaches back to dip his fingers into some of the salve that's still waiting behind him. It numbs his fingers somewhat, but he still spreads it gently into the discolorations in her otherwise porcelain skin. She lets out a soft noise, either at the tender sensation of having her wounds touched, or the numbing effect the salve has as her bruises slowly fade, he doesn't know, but they both stand and watch the blue and black fade to yellow and green. Another application in the morning, and they should be gone entirely. Her cuts are another story, but they're shallow and should heal soon with the salve's helping hand.

"I… get angry," she admits, and though his eyes flicker up to her face, she's staring down at her arm, transfixed. "I don't want to show it around Agnes; she'll just scared. Or upset. So I just… in the bath, or when she's asleep, I just…"

"Don't, please," he breathes. "I know, I know how it feels to be angry." Does he ever. A regular ball of rage and sharp edges, Alternis had always been, an explosion simmering beneath the surface. He has softened quite a bit since becoming  _Ringabel_ , a change he is quite glad for, but he would willingly take all of her hurt and anger onto himself if that would save her. "But hurting yourself just… makes you angrier."

"I don't need the lecture you from you," Edea says stubbornly, and finally her eyes meet his. Anger and grief he can deal with, but she just looks  _tired_  and he swallows. She's resigned, and that's even worse.

" _I_  was using the Dark Knight Asterisk." It's a weak argument, but one he's used often over the years to justify the state of his body. He finishes rubbing the salve into her skin and wipes his fingers off on himself, pressing his fingers into one of the purple bruises on his arm, swallowing back a moan of pain.

Edea rolls her eyes. "I'm not stupid, Ringabel. I know exactly what Alternis and you were doing."

There's no good way to answer that, is there? Ringabel keeps quiet even when Edea shoves him back until his hip bumps into the wooden counter, leaning his arms against it as she dips her fingers into the small metal container. "Stay still or I'm gonna tickle you," she threatens, and Ringabel knows that she'll gladly make good on that threat. He bites his lip to keep himself from saying anything more as she returns the favor, her fingers gently and carefully rubbing over the ugliest looking of his bruises.

It's painful, certainly, but a good type of tender pain that shoots something akin to pleasure straight into his stomach and chest. It makes him feel alive, reminds him that there's feelings beyond his rage. It  _hurts_  so good, but her fingers are gentle and he can't quite stop himself from groaning when she presses a little too deeply into that blasted bruise that takes up half of his torso. The hurt coils down into the core of his belly.

Edea pauses before continuing, the touch more gentle. Hopefully she thinks it's pain and not pleasure behind that noise, he thinks, shifting uncomfortably. He's reminded that he's still half-naked, and Edea' is out of her usual armor and in her nightgown, and that they're very close. Her skin is warm, and her hand is comforting, and he is an awful person who doesn't deserve the care and attention that she's currently give him. His hands clench angrily into fists.

"Whatever you're thinking," Edea says, her voice tight. "You'd better stop. I'll fight you if you think this is okay, Ringabel."

"I know its not." He tries not to snap at her, but this is exhausting. He's exhausted and too exposed, his nerves rubbed raw. "This isn't okay for either of us." But it's hard to stop, once he's started and gotten used to it. There's a type of comfort in the pain, a grounding force that keeps him centered. He'd forgotten about it, along with the rest of his memories, but when everything had come flooding back, it had been one of the first things he'd returned to.

She finishes, or perhaps her fingers have just gone numb, and she sets the container aside. When she looks back at him, her eyes are bright. Please don't cry, he thinks, because a part of him has already died knowing that Edea Lee is so hurt that she's hurt  _herself_ , and he thinks another part will die if she cries over his foolishness.

Edea is stronger than he is, and she simply sniffles, rubbing her face with her clean hand. On impulse, he leans up to wrap an arm around her shoulders, pull her close against him. Though the salve that covers most of his torso is going to stain her clothing. she doesn't seem to mind, leaning gratefully into his warmth with a soft noise.

For a few moments he just holds her, enjoying the feeling of her body, the smell of her skin and hair (though it's somewhat covered up by the sharp smell of the balm they've been using) and it calms him somewhat. For a split second he thinks that perhaps he doesn't need _pain_  to remember who he is. Perhaps he simply needs Edea Lee, his angel and his love, to center him. But as quickly as that thought enters his head, he destroys it. Edea isn't his, and he doesn't deserve her to be, as much as he fantasizes about it on daily basis. They're comrades, friends, and nothing more, he reminds himself.

Though it's harder to remember that as his body finally reacts to the mixture of pleasurepain and the warmth of Edea in his arms.

"Ringabel…" She sounds grumpy, a little embarrassed.

"Sorry," he whispers. "You should go to bed." He had intended on taking a bath, but probably shouldn't with the salve needing to soak into his skin and work its magic. His hair needs washing though, and that isn't something he'll compromise on. "I'll follow soon."

"No." He detects a hint of fright in her voice, and sighs. She'd done the same that day when she'd first seen his arms, afraid to let him out of her sight for fear he'd do something stupid. It'd been awkward for a while, once she'd learned his secret, and he sincerely hopes it won't be as awkward this time. Edea is nothing if not stubborn about her friends, which is part of her charm, her supposes. "I'm staying here until you go to bed."

"I really need to wash my hair, you know." He winks at her, feeling a little more alive. "Have to keep it nice and shiny for the ladies."

She giggles, and some of the tension between them fades. "Yeah, if it hasn't worked by now, it's sure going to in the future."

He's just as reluctant to let go of her, though, and when they pull apart, his hands remain at her hips. He is most definitely physically attracted to her, and though this is possibly the worst (second worst) time to be noting her beauty, he cant help but admire her. He's so distracted by her looks that he almost doesn't notice when she leans up and presses her lips to his.

Almost.

He freezes at the contact, and his face turns an embarrassing shade of red. "Edea?" He manages to choke out, eyes wide. He has no idea why she's just kissed him, or  _why_  she thought that was a good idea, given their mutual mental states.

It seems she knows exactly that it isn't a good idea, but she speaks up hesitantly, breathless. "Do you want to…?" He stares at her blankly, confused. She can't bring herself to finish, but the way her cheeks bloom with color and her eyes flicker down between them says enough.

Oh.

_No_ , he thinks, and frantically. He's thought about her for so long, but not like this. Never like this. Not when their minds are so vulnerable, and their bodies so messed up. Physically harming themselves until they bleed isn't the only way to hurt themselves, and throwing themselves into  _that_  is just as destructive as the bruises mottling their skin. Pain disguised as comfort, wrecking them from within. Either way, he can't allow it.

"I…." He doesn't know if he's strong enough to turn her down. He's hurting just as much inside after all. But then, he reminds himself that he hurts to so that he  _can_  be strong. His pain is for the Lee family, and to protect her… even from herself, and from him. It's one of the hardest things he's done in a long time, but he slowly shakes his head. "No." He says quietly. "Thank you, but no."

When he leans over to kiss her forehead, he's shaking. Some protector he is, he thinks unhappily, but this is not the time nor place for him to fancy her, even if his body is a dirty betrayer. He doesn't want to hurt her, or their friendship, or the love he feels for her.

Edea sighs, but her shoulders relax and he feels some discomfort leave her. He's made the right choice, then. "Then I'll head to bed. If you don't hurry up and wash your hair and be in the room within the hour, I'll sic Agnes on you."

"Oh no, anything but that." He laughs, but the threat is a good one. Who knows what Agnes would do if she found out about her friends suffering like this? As Edea packs up the container of salve, he notes that her bare arm is still visible, and though the bruises look more like shadows, he carefully tugs her sleeve down to cover her skin anyway.

She smiles at him, and his heart threatens to jump out of his chest. "Thank you," she says, and her eyes are bright, but clear, and lack the pain from earlier. He could happily lose himself in them.

"I should thank  _you_ ," he replies quietly. For… more than he can ever articulate in words. If only his journal weren't currently being used as a travel journal…

She frowns at him. "Just promise me one thing, Ringabel."

"Anything." For her, anything.

"I'm… not going to ask you to stop," Because that had worked out so well the last time she and her father had attempted that. "But just promise me, that you'll let me know if you need me to lick your wounds." To  _help_  him with his hurt, even if she couldn't prevent it.

"We're not like lions, Edea, your lovely mane aside." But the sentiment is touching. "However I would gladly lick your wounds anytime."

"That's a little weird."

Smiling, he shoos her out the door and she leaves, giggling as he tickles her side gently with his fingers. Once the door is closed behind her, he locks it firmly and turns back to the old, misshapen mirror.

At least she hadn't seen his  _legs_.

Running his fingers through his hair again and wishing he had asked her to leave the balm behind, Ringabel turns away from his warped reflection to deal instead with the distortion inside, however he can.


	3. The World Yet Sleeps

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> After a slight mishap at Grandship's steering wheel, Edea drags Ringabel to bed with her Being the gentlemanly sort, he resists, but Edea reminds him - they are friends, and she is there for him.
> 
> Contains spoilers for events past chapter 4, and some not quite sexual, but mature material.

They were  _friends_ , Edea had thought. Friends... but now they were really something more.

She would have to be blind not to see the crush that Ringabel harbored over her, and stupid not to see how insecure he really was over it. They had been travelling for so long that she now felt  _comfortable_  with him, and she had hoped he would get over that crush and be comfortable with her, but she supposed that was too much to ask for. As they hopped from the fourth world into the fifth, Ringabel's nervousness near her only increased, to the point she didn't know whether she wanted to throttle him or force-feed him a remedy to make him calm down.

But he was her close friend, even if he held the ridiculous notion of someday being something a little more, and she wouldn't sit blindly by while her friend suffered. His memories had returned, bit by little bit, and while she knew the basics behind it - his past, his real identity, his trauma that had led to his amnesia- there was still more she knew he was deliberating hiding from her. And while it was tempting to try and blackmail it out of him, that was the last thing on her mind when he passed out in front of her late one night, slumping over the wheel of the Grandship and causing the ship to pitch dangerously to the side. She just barely managed to grab the railing, but their coffee mugs were lost.

"Ringabel!" she cried, and pulled him off the steering wheel. He was left unceremoniously on the floor as she grabbed the wheel and tried to steady them, using every last bit of the knowledge she'd gleaned from the late night talks with Ringabel when he'd given her pointers now and then, just in case -  _just in case something like this happened,_  she thought, her mind racing, heart pounding.

To her great relief, Grandship wasn't as hard to steer as she had feared, but she moored them down for the night, and turned her attention to the man sprawled on the floor. He was so quiet and unmoving, his chest heaving raggedly as he breathed, beads of sweat on his forehead.

"Ringabel?" she asked, kneeling beside him and resting her hand on his forehead. He didn't seem any hotter than usual, nor any paler, but… as Edea looked closer, she realized that the tone of his face was unnaturally even, unnaturally dark. She licked her thumb and rubbed at his cheek, then made a face - the idiot had been wearing makeup to hide the pallor of his face, and probably any circles under his eyes.

Great. She was all alone with an unconscious man in the middle of the night. If anyone was woken by the ship suddenly pitching, they had yet to join them in the bridge. She paced over his prone body, thinking over her options. Leaving him there until morning seemed too cruel - if he had passed out, then he likely needed rest, good rest. She could try to carry him, never mind the fact that he was a foot taller and much heavier, down to the little couch that had been shoved in a corner for Ringabel's naps. She could also go fetch help and have Datz or Tiz carry him to the couch or even better, to a bed. Or…

They kept the asterisks in the inn, but there was always Treat, she thought. Maybe if she healed him enough he'd wake up and he could drag himself to bed with her help.

Treat was applied, not once but twice, and only then did the man stir, his pale eyelashes fluttering. He stayed quiet for some moments, staring blankly at the ceiling in confusion as though he couldn't understand where the view outside the window of Grandship had gone, before he finally glanced her way.

"Good morning," she told him, feeling a little less annoyed now that he was awake.

In response, he grunted and tried to sit up, a flush visible even under his makeup. "Please, don't tell me I…"

"You totally swooned," she said with a slight laugh, moving toward his side and wrapping an arm around his back. He looked like he needed the support, even though she felt him tense as her side pressed against his. "Feeling better?"

"A bit," he admitted breathlessly, though he lifted a hand to his face, holding it for a moment to steady himself. "The ship, is she-"

"She's fine," she reassured him, and together they stood, Edea supporting him more than she felt sure he'd be comfortable with. He'd have to deal with it, she wasn't going to drag his unconscious body around, because she'd have to deal with him whining about his hair later.

"Thank you," he said with a soft groan as he settled onto the couch after they managed slowly down the stairs. "Thank you, I—"

"You're an idiot," Edea told with a frown, now that he was safe. He frowned back, and she stood her ground, hands on her hips as she stared down at him. "What would have happened if I weren't here to take the wheel?"

He did not reply, looking down at his hands and squeezing them into fists. They were trembling.

She continued. "Are you feeling sick? Tired? You need to let us know. That was dangerous, Ringabel! You could have been hurt. We all could have been hurt." Had she not been there, Grandship might have crashed if the auto-pilot hadn't picked up the lack of an actual breathing pilot.

"I'm sorry. Forgive me," he said quietly, and his tone of voice was so quiet, so low, that for a moment she was confused on exactly which blond man she was speaking to, who replied, and he sounded so pathetic that she didn't have the heart to pick on him anymore, deserved or not. With an annoyed huff, she threw herself onto the couch beside him and grabbed him by the side before he could turn away.

Ringabel was apparently ticklish, and he squirmed as he faced her, his face red as she pulled him even closer until it was only the arm that was draped on the back of the couch that kept him up and away from her. Oh, she liked teasing him, but he was warm and it seemed like he needed the closeness of another person. A hug. Even a cuddle. She could spare him that for now. Edea picked up the worn blanket that was folded over one of the arms of the couch and draped it over him.

"You can nap, now," she told him with a wide smile, and patted her shoulder. Ringabel made an interesting, strangled noise as he flushed as red as a tomato, but he didn't yet pull away, his eyes darting between her face and her shoulder. "You need to rest," Edea continued, her tone serious, but gentle. "I know you have trouble sleeping, but you need to try and sleep. This'll help, won't it?" Because sometimes, when they were all tired, they just took naps together. When Ringabel had a headache, or Agnes was tired after awakening a crystal, they'd curl up in little piles together, two or three, or even all four of them, and she knew how much deeper all of them slept when they weren't alone. She'd even slept with Ringabel twice before, when she'd found him fighting both tears and sleep in the middle of the night, after she had grown to trust him to keep his hands to himself. He was fairly cuddly, surprisingly.

"I can't," he mumbled, and she could feel the distance between them growing as he finally fully sat up. "I'll keep an eye on the ship and - ah!"

Perhaps pulling on his hair was a little mean, but she yanked him forward until he faceplanted against her chest, grimacing slightly when his chin connected with her sternum. He flailed, arms wheeling for purchase so he could pull away, but Edea was the stronger of the two, and he settled against her after a moment of futile squirming, turning his face away and out of the fabric of her nightgown.

"Just… be a good boy and sleep?" Edea implored, and her hand went from yanking at a fistful of blond hair to running her fingers against his scalp instead. He let out a breath that seemed he'd been holding for some time, and relaxed against her, gradually going more and more boneless as she caressed him.

They shifted, now and then, both of them getting comfortable on the couch. Edea was so much smaller than he, but if she opened her legs slightly and let him settle between them, he could curl his legs enough so that his feet could hang comfortably off the side of the couch. His arms were tucked between them, and slowly he wound them around her waist instead, breathing out a little laugh against her chest at the jump she made when his hand brushed against her ticklish side.

"Thank you," he said after some time, once her hand had stopped carding through his hair and had settled against his shoulder. She shuddered slightly as his breath ghosted over a nipple.

"You're… welcome," she replied, her eyes beginning to slip shut. It was going to be awkward if the others found them like this in the morning, but she already knew that if she mentioned Ringabel's fainting spell to them, they'd forget in favor of scolding him for his carelessness. Ah, blackmail was the best.

Ringabel nuzzled in a little closer, one of his hands lifting to pull the blanket over his shoulder. Edea shifted a little more, rolling over so that most of his weight was on the couch instead of her chest - he was about 75 pounds heavier, after all, she had her limits - and Ringabel moued softly, whining. He squeezed her waist.

"Oh, you big baby," she laughed, and went back to stroking his hair to get him to settle.

In response, he whined again, and he kissed at the breast that his lips were so close to, as if by instinct.

Both of them froze, Edea's fingers tightening in his hair, and Ringabel's body going so quiet and still she thought a moment that he'd passed out again. For a moment, neither of them seemed to breath, until Edea forced herself to relax, for his sake.

"Big baby," she repeated, and she wished he wasn't settled between her legs because now, she wanted to press her thighs together. That touch, light and innocent as it had been, had sparked something in her, a something that was really kind of distracting. She squeezed her legs against his hips, not thinking.

That got him moving. Ringabel made a choked noise, and she could feel him pressing against the couch as he made to pull away. She groaned; he was being weird again. "Stop, stop. It's okay," she tried to soothe him, like one might soothe a puppy who knew he'd been naughty and was afraid of being hit with a slipper. Edea wouldn't beat an animal. She wouldn't beat Ringabel either, not for a movement that seemed instinctual.

"I'm sorry," he said, and his face was burning red as he looked up at her, biting at his lip. "I simply—"

"I said it's okay," she groused, and she made to cradle the back of his head, running her nails across the nape of his neck, just the way he liked it. Oof, but this was a little awkward. Edea tugged him back toward her. He needed the rest.

He settled down against her again, a bit more hesitantly, and she wrapped her arm around his shoulder.

All was quiet for a few moments, before he spoke. "Thank you. For this, for everything." His face was turned back slightly into her chest, his ear above her heartbeat. And resting on a breast, she thought, running her fingers down his cheek. He must be desperate for comfort if he's not resisting very much.

"It's no problem. You'd do the same for me, I know," she said quietly, knowing that he would be able to hear the rumble of her words along with her heartbeat, and knowing from experience that her words were true.

He melted a little more against her, like a cat. "I would do anything for you," he breathed, so quiet she almost didn't hear it, and she felt him mouth at her chest again. Definitely like a kitten kneading at its owner for pettings, the big goof. It gave her an idea.

She shifted under him again, just enough to bring him closer to her. Her own cheeks were feeling a little warm at this thought, but well - Ringabel was a big baby right now. A tired, lonely man who needed comfort and love, in whatever form he could take, whatever form she could give him. And he was her friend. Maybe. Something more. All of them had really, truly moved past friends and into territory where comforting each other was as natural as breathing. Edea had an idea what might work for him now, something that he might like. To comfort him.

He was tensing again, his muscles stiff as he tried to figure out what she was doing, what she was going to let him do. Carefully, she wiggled one of her hands between them, and with two fingers, slipped the edge of her nightgown down her chest and off one nipple, very close to his open, trembling lips.

Heat sparked inside of her when he took the silent invitation and latched on, but his touch was - it was tentative and restrained, and his hands tucked back under her form so that he could hold her as his mouth worked. She resumed stroking his hair while he suckled at her breast, the two of them falling into an easy, comfortable rhythm. Despite her flushed face, and how odd this might have looked to any outsider, she was smiling softly as she watched him, his messy blond hair splayed out against her own pale skin before she tucked it behind his ear. At least his mouth was busy, and he couldn't make any remarks on her size, right? Though she doubted he would anyway. He... was like that.

There was really nothing sexual in either the touch of his hands or his lips as he pressed himself closer, a noise muffled by the mouthful of flesh he had. Still, she wasn't immune to how intimate it was… she could feel her stomach growing hotter as he continued, his tongue lapping her stiffened nipple as he sucked on her. There was no movement between them, just this.

After some time, her legs squeezed him again and he slowed, then stopped, pulling away from her with a soft noise and looking up at her face. His was as red as hers felt, his lips wet and slightly swollen. She smiled at him all the same, and that smile only widened as he gently tugged her nightgown back up to cover her. The sad, broken man.

"Do you really feel better now?"

"Yes, I - yes. Very much so," he nodded, cheeks and ears flushing even more, and he tucked his face back down against her, snuggling in. Her nipple was wet, stiff through the fabric and he rubbed his nose against it. When he shifted, she noticed he hadn't been as unaffected by the intimacy as she thought, but he seemed to be ignoring it in favor of rest. It was touching, yet she also felt a little indignant.

"Mm, good," she murmured even so, and tucked a few errant strands behind his ear. "Get some sleep now, really." It was perhaps, easier said than done, but the two of them lay there for some time, listening to each other breathe. Only once she was certain that he was asleep, judging by the soft snores that were slightly muffled by her nightgown, did she fully relax. Ringabel was a warm, solid weight, and despite the differences in their size, she felt safe around him. Satisfied, even. That was the only explanation for why she'd let him touch her so intimately, because he'd never push it further without her express permission.

_Silly boy,_  she thought, as she let her eyes slip shut so that she could follow him into dreams.  _You'll never get what you want if you don't try._


	4. Asterism

“It’s beautiful out here, isn’t it?”

Ringabel’s voice cut through her thoughts and Edea squeaked, wrapping her dressing gown tighter around herself as she turned to face him, face hot even in the relative chill of the evening. He joined her at her side, leaning slightly on the deck of Grandship. They were only feet away from the inn, and the side of his face was lit up with the dim lanterns just enough for her to see him wink. Oh no.

“Ah, but the sight of your lovely face is even more - ack!” Ringabel cut off as Edea stamped on his foot.

“Can it,” she said cheerfully, feeling her mood improve. For a moment, she even forgot why she’d come outside in the first place.

“Alright, alright,” he agreed, bending over to rub his foot, as though she could have done real damage to his booted feet while she was still in slippers. For a few moments, he was blessedly quiet, and Edea found herself looking back up at the moon, enjoying the slight breeze that ruffled through her hair. This far up, none of the lights from the town below could be seen, and many of the lights in Grandship had gone out long ago, when the buildings had stopped being used. She could see so many stars. It was rare that there were no clouds in the sky, especially now that they’d awoken the wind crystal in this world.

“Do you ever wonder,” she started slowly, the sound of voice sounding too loud in the air, “if the other Luxendarcs that we’ve been in are in the sky up there, or do they have their own stars?”

Ringabel didn’t respond immediately, and she felt nervous and flustered when he _didn’t,_ as though he was going to think she was weird! There was only room for one weird person in their party, and that was…

His hand covered hers, and Edea looked at him, too surprised by the gesture to wallop him just yet. Their eyes met, and behind them, one of the lights in the inn went out as Tiz or Agnes went to sleep.

“I… don’t know,” he confessed. All of the silence for this? But he continued before she could yell at him. “Perhaps they don’t even have the same sky. Perhaps in one Luxendarc, the moon doesn’t exist. Or that constellation isn’t there. Maybe in this world, there’s a constellation that others don’t have. I must admit, the first couple of worlds I wasn’t quite paying attention, and I didn’t really memorize the entire star chart, but - ”

“Wait,” Edea interrupted him, finally pulling her hand away from his to hold her palm up. “You know the star chart? Since when?”

“We both studied it with our tutors,” he pointed out with a small smile. “The stars are useful for navigation, after all, and I would keep a copy of it in my airship… I suppose this is why your piloting skills are rusty at best.”

“Oh quiet,” she groused, face warm again. Who was _he_  to tease her about things she didn’t remember?! But then, wait - “How long have you remembered?”

“For a while,” he replied slowly, and he looked away again, up toward the stars. “I remember everything, now.”

Everything. The way he said it made her stomach twist uncomfortably, and she found herself following his gaze rather than continuing to look at his face. With just the stars and moon illuminating it, the shadows on his features looked harsh. Drew outlines around his mouth. Made him look older, more tired, than he really was. She knew how much he would hate that if she ever told him.

The next few moments were awkward, and Edea sighed to herself. She wasn’t tired enough to sleep; that was the entire reason she’d gone out, to get some warm milk from the pub and then sit down with a good martial arts book until she was sleepy. The clear night sky had distracted her, and now this was happening. 

Everything. She wanted to ask, but couldn’t bring herself to, not just yet. Ringabel would tell her when he was ready, wouldn’t he? He would always tell her everything, even if she didn’t want him to say a word. For now, though…

Another light in the inn went out.

Edea swallowed. “Do you… think that you could show me? A few of the constellations. _I_  don’t remember.”

Resolutely not looking at him, she couldn’t help but notice the surprise in his voice. “You want me to show you?”

“Yes,” she insisted, closing her eyes and facing away so that he couldn’t see her face.  "Just the basic constellations, Ringabel. What you use to navigate.“

“Very well,” he replied, and now she noticed how happy he sounded. Her heart twisted this time, and again, she didn’t smack him when he took her hand in his. “Here.”

He wrapped his hand around hers, and Edea found herself following his movements as he pointed both of their hands up at the sky. “Do you see that bright star there? That’s Altair. Legend said he is forever separated from his lover Vega, and they may only meet once a year. Oh, to be separated from my love like that, it sounds horrific! I should hope _we'll_ see each other more than once a - ow!”

“Ringabel.”

“A-and this star here, this is…”


	5. Requests

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> These are short requests from Tumblr, too short to merit their own chapter.

**“I think I’m in love with you and I’m terrified,”** Edea said softly to Ringabel one night.

In response, the man sighed… as he rolled over to face the other direction, pulling closer the blanket she had just draped over him. When they were this far north and this high up, it was cold outside on the Grandship, and no one in their right minds would even think about sleeping outside of the toasty inn, or the even toastier pub.

But Ringabel had mentioned wanting to work on some repairs to the side of the ship while they rested up for a couple of days before finishing their trip to Eternia to awaken the Earth Crystal for the fifth time. Edea had waited for him until after Agnes and Tiz had gone to bed, and even further still as she watched the moon rise overhead, and it was only when she lost sight of it that she realized… she realized she didn’t mind waiting for him for even longer, if that’s what it took.

Except she also knew that knowing the idiot, he’d found a comfortable spot to have a nap, and while his jacket could keep him warm in the sun, it wasn’t going to stop him from freezing his butt off at night. Someone was going to have to find him and save him from himself, and she also didn’t mind having to be that person.

Armed with an extra blanket and a coat over her pajamas, she’d found Ringabel curled up in in a pile of discarded flour sacks just outside the hub, his lumber and tools nearby. It looked comfortable but cold, and at looking at his peaceful face in the moonlight, she had come to the conclusion that he could suffer _just a little_ , because he needed rest, and as long as he only froze his butt a  _little_ , then all would be well, right? There was no need to wake him if she could just cover him with the blanket, and with a couple more sacks that were not piled under him.

And… perhaps if she added in her own body heat? To make sure their only pilot didn’t die of exposure, if course. Edea slowly reached out her hand to peel back the blanket that was against his back, only to stop when he muttered out: “I knew you’d fall for me one day.” Were it not for the fact that the smile on his face was not as insufferable as it _could_ have been, she would have accused him of being awake the entire time.

Immediately, Edea felt her face flare up hot enough that she wouldn’t need to share a blanket with anyone, not even if they were camped out in the snow drifts of Eternia! Just barely holding back the urge to punch him in his stupid pretty stupid face, Edea huffed as she stood to leave him to his fate.

But not before tucking the blanket down around his feet.

 

* * *

 

 

**“Hey! I was gonna eat that!”**

Edea protest hit his ears the same moment that the taste of sugar frosted sugar cubes did, and Ringabel spit out the offending item masquerading as food.

_That_  was one way to wake up, he supposed, gagging and reaching for his coffee. He knew this, at least, was pure and unblemished, because he himself had carried it over in his favorite mug (the collector’s item from Florem with the bunny girl on the side!) before sitting down and reaching for bowl in front of him, too tired to wonder why his usual seat had already been placed out with a bowl of cereal and pancakes when he had just asked for bacon and eggs.

“Well?” Edea asked impatiently as he scalded the taste away from his lips, and mouth, and tongue, and teeth, and throat. “I hope you’ve learned your lesson!” She sat down in the chair next to him with a harrumph, pulling her bowl closer to her. They both ignored the fine white coating of sugar that now adorned the chairs across from them. Tiz and Agnes noticed this, however, and decided to take a different table.

Ringabel nodded.

A few mouthfuls of her cereal and Edea’s mood seemed to improve. She even laughed when the Proprietress called him over to pick up his real breakfast, and when he trudged back over with a plate piled high with crispy bacon and slightly-runny eggs, she only took _one_  bite out of the eggs as he sat back down, giving him a wink as she borrowed his fork for the crime and handed it back with a flourish.

He held onto the fork for the rest of the day, until the Proprietress demanded it back.

 

* * *

 

 

**“I thought you were dead.“**

It’s the first thing that she hears when she wakes, and she barely has time to retort when suddenly she’s pulled up into someone’s arms, and her vision is once again blacked out, this time because her face is being tucked into that person’s shoulders.

Judging by the sharp smell of cologne, hair gel, and firaga from the Black Mage asterisk he’d been using, it’s Ringabel. He holds her tightly, and she can feel his heart hammering through his chest and against hers as he runs his hand through her hair, tangled and sticky as it is with semi-dried blood. Actually, she finds that being held like this is really nice, especially since she remembers that she had passed out in a fight against an ice golem and fallen into a fresh drift of snow. Ringabel is nice and warm, and Edea feels the last of the chill leave her body as she closes her eyes and leans against him.

Just as she starts to move her arms to wrap them around his waist and return the hug, he pulls back, his face and eyes red.

“Sorry,” he says, and he rubs furiously at his eyes. Edea pretends she doesn’t see it, instead pressing her hands to his chest to get him to leech the last of his body heat into her hands. They’re cold and wet with snow.

“Don’t mention it,” she decides, then shakes her head when he opens his mouth to argue. “Really Ringabel, don’t mention it! I’m fine, aren’t I? Thanks, Tiz!” she calls to the group’s current White Mage, who she can see standing over Ringabel’s shoulder, though just barely, since the white of his outfit blends in with the white of the snow.

Still, it’s a few moments before she’s ready to leave the comfort of Ringabel’s lap. It’s worth the embarrassment of Tiz and Agnes’s bemused smiles to hear Ringabel babble as she warms herself up all the way from the top of her head to the tips of her toes, tucking her feet under his knees.

 

* * *

 

**"Wait right there, don't move!"**

“What?” Edea asked, stopping in her tracks. Was there something there? She wasn’t exactly dressed for a fight.

“I said don’t move,” the man insisted, taking a few step down off the stairs, one of his hands out as though that would keep her from moving. She worried he’d trip and fall, and obediently stayed still to lessen the chances of him hurting himself. 

As soon as his feet hit the landing, he threw open the bag at his side and started rummaging through it. Edea stared at him and took another step down, holding up the dress she was wearing with one hand.

“Wait!” Ringabel whined, not looking up. “It’s - I just have to dig it out.” She didn’t even have a chance to ask what ‘it’ was before he found the item he’d been looking for and pulled it out with a cry of triumph. Immediately her face colored.

“Oh, no. You are not taking a photo of this!” She took another step.

Ringabel’s face was just as red as he held the camera up in front of it, backing up some more. “I just want to - commemorate the moment,  my dear. Make sure to preserve this memory forevermore. Edea, no! Just look at the camera and smile.”

First he had convinced her, _somehow,_ to go on a date with him. Then he’d wheedled her into the very pretty light blue dress that he insisted would bring out the blue of her eyes and look fantastic in the restaurant he’d reserved. Now this? “Mrgrgr,’ Edea mumbled, but when he lowered the camera to give her the biggest puppy dog eyes he could muster, she found herself smiling all the same and holding still just long enough for the camera’s flash to go off.


End file.
